It’s Time to Buy a Bidet

Many years ago I visited the city of Paris.  Besides the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre, one of the most interesting things I found there was the bidet in my hotel room.  Here was a thing that essentially removed any need for toilet paper . . . and it did a WAY better job at doing that task.

So here I sit in the middle of the great Covid 19 Toilet Paper Rush, watching people posting on social media asking where they can buy some toilet paper.  And I just shake my head.

Two years ago, after years of wishing I owned a house with a bidet, I discovered there were all sorts of portable bidets.  I bought one for $13 on Amazon and, pardon the phraseology, I have not looked back.  My annual outlay for toilet paper dropped by 90%.  

We Americans walk around with a lot of shame regarding elimination of bodily waste, but it’s time to grow up and face facts.  Along with doing a 2nd rate job, toilet paper requires the DAILY cutting down of 27,000 trees.  And once flushed, all that paper pulp gets thrown in with the regular fecal matter in massive piles of compost.  That says nothing of the fuel and the 37 gallons of water needed to make a single roll, and the attendant carbon dioxide that is generated as well.  You should also figure in all the wrappers and the inside cardboard tubes, that’s what, 250,000 of those put into landfills every day.

Look online, they have nifty little squeeze bottle bidets for $14.  And for about $45 you can get one mounted on your toilet seat, altho one with hot water (you really want that) runs a little more.   Even so, it pays for itself in a year or less.

Then you can sit back with me and observe the odd phenomena of people crazily buying and hoarding something they don’t need.



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