So there is this guy named Sir Ken Robinson, he has several books out as well as his presentations on youtube (save some small talk and skip to 7:00 mark):

He does an absolutely wonderful job of articulating the history of industrial era education philosophy. I have been doing dilettante studies of this myself for many years, so it’s wonderful to find somebody who has really done it up so well.

His ultimate message is that we have to change the way we teach kids. We have to discard these factory-based systems. I agree with that.

Now on the other hand, I am not convinced that anything short of a complete do-over can achieve that, but that’s beside the point I want to make. My point is, the current workforce, as well as the current management and leadership of said workforce, are all products of this obsolete education system. So even if we were to change the entire education system today, there would be a delay of what, 10, 20, 30 years . . . ? before we would start to see people in leadership positions that would reflect this new highly left brain creative world.

So my approach is not to bother with changing the system. I am looking at what we can do in the here and now, with what we have to work with. I’m essentially trying to do “remedial work” on people who have been “classroom conditioned” to veer towards factory floor management models of seeking perfection, emphasis on uniformity, and fear of both failure and making mistakes, which are all symptomatic of this highly mechanical world view that currently pervades the entire educational industrial complex.

I do have this one unique piece of insight and perspective.  I did not grow up in this standard industrial educational environment. I grew up in Symphony Hall. And major symphony orchestra culture “dodged the bullet” of the imposition of industrial education philosophy. It was an entirely artistic approach, both literally and figuratively. And I had the chance to work with the Masters of management in this environment.

So if you’re looking for the next step forward, well, I believe the best thing to do is to go back . . . to the fundamentals of emotional energy, which is what artistic training is all about. If you are a leader who really wants to function like a top symphony conductor, and you want your organization to work with the intensity and efficiency of a major orchestra, I can show you how that’s done.  And you don’t have to wait 30 years either.

Call me at 781-330-8143.

You know, it must have been something for the Europeans who came to the New World back in and 1500 and 1600. Just think what it must’ve been like for them to encounter so much purely untouched virgin natural resources.

Of course, we all know the story of the exploitation of these natural resources over the past few hundred years. But to those original explorers and settlers, the available forests, buffalo, salmon stocks, king crabs and whales must’ve seemed to them to be infinite and inexhaustible. To someone looking at a herd of a million or more wild buffalo roaming the Great Plains, the idea that they could ever come close to extinction would have seemed utterly ludicrous.

In my opinion, something very similar is happening right now in the realm of artistic creativity.

You can go on youtube right now and download hundreds of movies and songs that are currently under copyright. Beneath all of this stolen and illegally posted copyrighted material there is this strange disclaimer commonly posted. People will say, “I do not own the copyright to this. No copyright infringement intended.” This is a little bit like someone breaking into your house and stealing your stuff, but thinking it’s okay as long as they turn to you as they walk out the door and stay, “I do not own this television set. No theft intended.” It is that discordant in the mind.

On Amazon, people are selling copyrighted books that they have already read for a penny. There is a vast “black market” in used books. At the moment, this sort of thing is “legal,” but in practical terms, the authors are not getting compensated for the use of their work. There’s a presumption that somehow, the authors will go and automatically replenish themselves, so everyone can just help themselves. There are so many authors, why not.

Now granted, given the vast numbers of books and movies and television shows that exist, it’s impossible that we would ever run out of this resource, right?

Well, okay, there are an awful lot of people out there, and an awful lot of digital cameras, and there are also an awful lot of Coke bottles, and Mentos to put in them. But the lifetime commitment involved in becoming an artistic professional at the highest levels of homo sapiens’ capacity is not guaranteed to be there forever. If we continue to take the highest levels of artistic output for granted and refuse to create any kind of system where these people get paid for their work (and I am not suggesting government subsidy, I just want fair price for the use), this is like chopping down the rain forest and just assuming it will grow back all by itself.

I just discovered the other day that pernambuco wood from Brazil is getting to be very hard to get. There isn’t a violinist or cellist in the world that doesn’t need a piece of pernambuco wood to play their fiddle. What the? It’s all gone?

I recently took a friend who is a home builder to the famous Newport mansions. In one room, the tour guide said, “to build this one single room today would cost over $100,000.” My friend looked at the guide and said, “that’s not true. You could not build this room today for any amount of money. The craftsmen who had the skill to build this room no longer exist.” I mention that story to simply point out that artistic skills can become extinct, just like animals.

Hey, I love the free movies on youtube. I love to be able to buy any book I want online for cheap. And I’ll bet whale meat is delicious. We decry our many ignorant ancestors for failing to recognize the fragility and limitation of these resources, many of which are gone forever. But I fear we are now just as blind and guilty as they are, only in a different category.

© Justin Locke

In Praise of a Parent

From the very beginning, you have made it your business to make me a better and stronger person. This has not been an easy task for you. It has required an enormous amount of patience, more than anyone could imagine.

There was more to it, though, than just patience or perseverance. You had to dig deep within yourself find resources you never knew you had in order to face problems and stresses you never anticipated. There were many things you had to do, but perhaps even harder were all the things you had to restrain yourself from doing. Much of the time you have been in the unenviable position of having to hold back and not directly state what was on your mind, for direct statements, you quickly learned, were often counter to your purpose. I could not see past my own immediate desire or concern, and you had to phrase your instructions and criticisms carefully.

While much of what you had to learn in taking care of me was on-the-job training, you brought considerable skill to it right from the start. You understand this operating system of the human heart, so much more complex than any computer program, and you work within its parameters like a consummate artist. You do not complain about the obstacles, failings, complexities, and all the many other shortcomings of the human species. You accept what is, and despite many inconsistencies, you make it move forward, inch by agonizing inch. That is what is so special about you: instead of allowing yourself to be defeated by adversity, you keep your eye on the prize. You have vision. You have plans. You looked at me, and instead of complaining about what is, you have always seen what could be, and you always invisibly took those opportunities to move me in those directions which, left to my own devices, I would have found only through great amounts of trial and error, if indeed I would have ever found them at all.

You have had the forbearance to allow me to fail. Even when you knew I was headed down a wrong road, you managed to restrain yourself from taking the wheel, for you knew the importance of failure in learning the true nature of one’s heart. Even though your own experience told you that my next attempt was doomed, you also knew that there are some things that cannot be learned in the abstract, there are certain life lessons that cannot be mastered by listening to a lecture or reading a book. You understood that I often had to reinvent the wheel, and as I did so you showed remarkable patience while I pondered various geometrical designs before finally deciding on a circular design. And you never once belittled my discoveries by telling me that you already knew the answer before I did. Instead, you always shared in my simple joy in discovery, and in the process you reinforced my fledgling fragile faith in myself.

While I know it was hard for you to endure these times, you knew that such experiences were very necessary, for they would ultimately make me stronger and wiser. Only by field experiments could I temper the steel of my mind so that it would not brittle and break at the first contact with any real adversity.

But while you have offered much guidance, you have not abused the power of your wisdom or experience. You do not seek control. You do not ask me to live your life for you. You know that trying to make me into anything other than what I was meant to be will make for an inefficient machine that works against itself at every turn, eventually burning itself up with internal friction. Instead, you have been remarkably optimistic about the unknown future. You have been curious to discover just what sort of mysterious seedling of unique personality lay deep within me, and rather than foisting a hand-me-down identity upon me, you have had the courage to wait and see. You have allowed me to gradually break away from the often stifling conventions and overwhelming expectations of society, and instead become the unique individual that I was meant to be. Your purpose has always been to encourage my growth in whatever direction that I chose, and you nurtured that growth whenever and wherever it needed it to the best of your ability.

As I have gradually been lifted out of the natural narcissism of youth, I have come to feel a profound appreciation for the vision, patience, and quiet personal discipline that you have brought to bear on our relationship. I am just now beginning to reap the benefits in all the emotional and intellectual capital you have invested in me. While I once saw these rules and admonishments as barriers to immediate gratification, I now see these rules you set down are the rules that must be followed for both internal happiness and external success.

I realize that neither one of us is exactly sure how it happened, but in an admittedly somewhat haphazard way you have made this terribly difficult transition, from childhood to adulthood, possible. I know I complained about it vociferously at the time, but your teaching has served to become a constant reference point, a shining north star that helps me to get my bearings even on the darkest of nights and loneliest of unknown seas.

And so I am headed off to ever more new adventures, with a proper balance of optimism and caution, with an advantage over many of my peers, for I am not doomed to wander so long in the wilderness. I have a marvelous role model in you and the way you have lived your life. How lucky I am to have you here. For all our desire for freedom and independence, there is a terrible hunger in the human heart for parenting, more than most of us can ever hope to get. If I had not had you in my life, and been allowed to see, first hand, both your extraordinary abilities and how you work with your own limitations, I am afraid I would have sunk into a bottomless pit of theorizing about what could be, planning everything and doing nothing.

In a strange and wonderful way your influence is felt almost every day. Whenever I come to some grand epiphany or greater level of consciousness, I always think of you, for at these moments I at last come to understand something you tried to explain to me once upon a time so long ago. Every day, it seems, something will come up and I will realize that I finally understand it, that is what you were talking about. And again, I see your patience at work, for you have often had to wait so long for me to rise to these new levels of awareness.

I can only laugh now, when I think of some of the foolish positions I once defended so tenaciously in our past discussions. But while lesser mortals would have lost their temper years ago, you never got terribly cross with me. You never doubted your vision, you never doubted your purpose, and your confidence and perseverance has paid off handsomely.

Now the story has begun to repeat itself, but I am cast in a different role. I am no longer the child. Instead of being tolerated, I find myself having to endure the arduous growing pains of others. Instead of being parented, I find more and more that I am required to be the parent. While I am tempted to throw fits of frustration at others for taking such a long time to figure out simple things, I am consistently, and laughingly, reminded of the time when you had to endure the exact same aggravation for me. And so I find deep well springs of forbearance as I experience each new turn of this grand eternally unfolding mystery and walk through this continuous process of shared growing and learning that we call living. I find I cannot begrudge anyone the time and effort that they require of me in this role, it is I think the only meaningful way I can repay the debt for what was once so graciously given to me.

In quiet moments of reflection I have come to look with awe and wonder at this grand circle of life. Like some great tall tree that finds its firmness and strength from its deep bond with the soil, my connection to you has allowed me to rise high, to reach for the sun and the stars. At the same time that connection has provided nourishment, protection, and support when I needed it, but it never held me back, it never stopped me from growing and becoming what I was meant to be. At the same time, I have come to understand just how hard this job is. I sometimes wonder how the human race has managed to survive, when the raising of children, is, by any objective standard, impossible. Everyone who does it must learn on the job. And yet it happens, generation after generation. It happens because there are people like you. You may not grab much attention from passers by, but day after day, diaper after diaper, meal after meal, soccer game after soccer game, you have gone about your business, doing the impossible.

–Excerpt from “I Believe in You (Words of Appreciation for the Special People in Your Life)” (c) 2012 Justin Locke

This book is currently only available through the Amazon Kindle Store. You do not need own a kindle, they have free software so you can read kindle books on a PC or tablet. A paperback version is coming eventually.

Sample Chapters from “I Believe in You” :

Chapter One: I Believe in You

I Like You

You Are a Good Listener

You Are a Wonderful Child

Ode to a Dogface Soldier

 

Okay, again, another of about five sample chapters of my new book, “I Believe in You.” This is a major departure from what most folks are used to seeing from me. I can best describe it as a “giant hallmark card.” I wanted to put these samples out so if anyone was interested in buying it (at the moment it is only available on kindle) they would know what they were getting.

This chapter is a little darker.  If you are close to someone who is a combat veteran, well . . .

An Ode to a Dogface Soldier

 At the time when your youth was at its brightest, your country called upon you, asking you to do nothing less than look death square in the face.  You had to put your own life aside and learn the arts of war, even though such things were contrary to your gentle nature.  And on some distant foreign shore, you experienced the sights, the sounds, and the smell of combat.

By some miracle– or pure luck– you survived the insanity.  You made it back home.  At the time, home was all that mattered.  But the home you came back to was somehow different.  What you thought was home was now a land filled with strangers, people who, unlike your comrades in arms, no longer knew you.  At last, you realized that home was not different.  It was you who had changed.

And so, yet another exceptional degree of courage was demanded of you.  You had to try to put the recent past out of your mind.  You had to adjust to this new reality of who you were, and build a future for yourself and your family.  There are no medals for such quietly heroic efforts.

Much time has past.  The hardest part of this second campaign is over.  You have done your best to put the past aside and return to civil society.  For the most part, on the outside at least, all is back to normal.  You have done an excellent job of putting on a game face for the crowds.  But all these many years later, the echoes of those distant guns have never left you.  I cannot help being curious.  I ask you about these faraway memories.  You can discuss it up to a point, then there is always that moment when certain lines are approached too closely.  There is a hesitation, then a nervous laugh, and then a quick change of the subject.

Those of us who have never been shot at have the luxury of romanticizing about great military campaigns.  To us, they are great shining moments in human history.  But to you, these events, so safely and objectively described in the history books, bandied about as grand patriotic crusades against tyranny, can never be separated from your vivid personal memories of mud, noise, bugs, hunger, loneliness, grief, and moments of sheer terror that are too much to contemplate.

I understand, now, that when I reach out to you, and you turn away in distant silence, it is not because you want to.  It is borne out of a need to harden and protect yourself from your own memories.  You were taught– perhaps too well– to be stoic.  You have to keep certain things locked up within.  Only your comrades have any idea of what you are feeling, and even then, you rarely discuss it openly with them.  A simple nod of the head is all that is necessary to acknowledge the past.  And so the horror and the grief remain, carefully tucked away, out of sight of the conscious mind.  There is no way for you to honestly discuss it, for no words, no book, no storyteller, nor any Hollywood production can ever hope to impart the true nature of your experience to anyone who has not been there.  We simply cannot comprehend it.  Any attempt on your part to explain it just makes you feel ever more separate and sequestered, and contributes even more to the distance between us, when all you wanted was to come back home and try to feel the sense of belonging you once had.

 When we try to add up the cost of war, the casualty lists do not tell the entire story.  Who has experienced war without being forever changed– and forever wounded– by it?  How many young spirits came home, perhaps without a purple heart pinned to their chest, but injured and maimed just the same?  And how far has this pain rippled through generation after generation?  These ghosts of innocence lost on a distant battlefield come back to haunt us all.  Throughout the land we are left with this great divide between friends, between family, between mothers, sons, fathers, daughters, husbands, and wives.  For all the shared experiences of family and friends, there is a great invisible wall between those who went to war and those who did not.  This difference in experience makes us, in some subtle yet relentless way, forever strangers.  No one who has not been there can truly know who you are any longer.  We are as close as human beings can be, and yet there is a barrier of no man’s land between us that can never be crossed.

This emotional barricade between us has often made me feel isolated.  This sense of loneliness has occasionally led to frustration and anger.  But in rare moments of calm reflection, I am occasionally able to look past my own pain, and my thoughts turn to those families who have been through so much worse– families whose loved ones were killed, or worse, those whose children went to war and disappeared without a trace, leaving a legacy of perpetual grief that is forever replenished by the imagination.

In the face of this infinite emotional laceration, the mind is overwhelmed by the images of hurt and anguish that once ruled the earth, and endlessly threaten to visit us again.  At such moments I think I can, in some small abstract way, get at least a sense of what you once lived through.  But I can only conjecture.  I have only seen the aftermath.  You once faced, hand to hand, the steel teeth of this monstrous beast that has torn so many lives.

I try to be grateful that life has only required me to deal with the lesser of so many evils.  Still, we are faced with a very real death here that must be mourned.  Part of the child we sent off to the front is now forever lost.  Their playground laughter is gone, buried with their fallen comrades.  And part of each of us is buried there as well.

We are now left to do our best, to deal with the rusted remnants of this great crusade of so long ago and the rift that now exists between us.  I know that you had to endure, and perhaps do, some terrible things.  There is much I will never understand.  I know you want to put it out of your mind, so I can accept your desire to not talk about the past.  I will let it rest.  But with what little understanding I do have of what you did, and what you lived through, I say to you, and others like you:

Thank you, and welcome home.

———————-

Excerpt from “I Believe in You”

(c) 2012 Justin Locke

This book is currently only available through the Amazon Kindle Store. You do not need to own a kindle, they have free software so you can read kindle books on a PC or tablet. A paperback version is coming eventually.

Sample Chapters from “I Believe in You” :

Chapter One: I Believe in You

I Like You

You Are a Good Listener

You Are a Wonderful Child

Ode to a Dogface Soldier

 

Again, if you are just joining us, here is another of about five sample chapters of my new book, “I Believe in You.” This is a major departure from what most folks are used to seeing from me. I can best describe it as a “giant hallmark card.” I wanted to put these samples out so if anyone was interested in buying it (at the moment it is only available on kindle) they would know what they were getting.

This book is a major departure from my usual comedic style . . . It’s just things we might say to special people in our lives.  But I think we can all use a little positive reinforcement and positive thinking now and then, so . . . here goes:

You Are a Wonderful Child

 When you first appeared in my life, I was utterly taken by your charm of innocence and honesty.  You displayed a magical magnetism that immediately drew me to you.  I was overwhelmed by your total vulnerability– so much so that I found myself imbued with a deep sense of purpose, and, without thinking, immediately assumed a role as your mentor and protector.  This awesome challenge and responsibility opened up a vast, previously untapped reservoir of strength within me.  My most primal instincts for self protection and preservation were transferred to you, multiplied by a thousand or more.  That was the first instance where you made me aware of astonishing new possibilities and powers within myself.  But there was so much more to be discovered.

You have reminded me of the simple yet overwhelming power of truth.  In a world filled with tactful fibs and careful omissions of fact, everything you do and say carries with it the tremendous weight of total sincerity.  When I see you finding some enjoyment in one of my favorite books or activities, or when you have adopted one of my mannerisms– perhaps something as simple as a figure of speech– you give a degree of recognition and validation to my life that no other honor, medal, or award can match.  No Nobel Prize winner has ever felt more honored or esteemed than I at those golden moments when you deem my thoughts and values worthy of emulation, for I know you mean it with all your heart.

It is a great privilege to just sit and watch you sometimes.  You deal with life in an extraordinary Zen state of timeless open-mindedness; delays and failures are nothing more than the cost of doing business of growing up, you pay them no heed, you just write them off and move on with the things you enjoy.  Clocks have no authority in your thinking.  Your schedule endlessly adjusts to your heart’s priorities.

Your powers of perception never cease to amaze me.  Never does a day go by that you don’t make me agape with wonder, at some new marvel that was always right under my nose, yet managed to escape my notice for decades.  You continually demonstrate to me that there are new and different ways of seeing everything, and there is always the possibility of something extraordinary in things that I had long ago catalogued as commonplace and dull.  You constantly re-instruct me in the importance of little things that I had long since forgotten.  You have reminded me of the magic of a door knob, the industrial might of an anthill, the enormous complexity of a leaf, and the engineering marvel of a spider web.

Once upon a time, I was just like you, but somehow I lost my way.  For reasons now forgotten, I was oh so eager to “grow up,” and I took great pride in learning to hide my feelings; I thought I was clever by putting my own personality aside and, in its place, mimicking the hand-me-down behavior of those around me.  But when I see how free you are, how original, how creative, how in tune with yourself and every feeling at every moment, I can only step back with admiration and amazement, and I cannot help but feel a twinge of terrible sadness when I realize what a treasure of my own pure self was lost and forgotten so long ago.

But hunting for lost treasures, no matter how deeply buried, is one of your finest skills; you do it every day.  With no map to guide you, you have taken me, again and again, to the exact place where “x” marks the spot.  But on this particular treasure hunt, something far more precious than Blackbeard’s pieces of eight has been unearthed: you have brought back innumerable golden memories and feelings of a childhood that I once thought was lost forever.  There are so many therapists telling me how to find my child self, but compared to you, they are mere amateurs.  What better guide in such a search than the bright eyes, and hands-on understanding, of a full-time child?  Every day you teach me far more about life, and about myself, than I will ever teach you.

Nothing lasts forever, of course, and our magic partnership is no exception.  We both know that the time is fast upon us when you must strike out into the world on your own.  You are certainly getting bigger every day, and perhaps you do not need me so much as a protector.  But while you are larger and stronger, I also know that the obstacles and adversities you will soon have to face are larger as well, and I can’t help wanting to step in and protect you from them.  However, as much as I want to do this, I must not.  In order for you to truly grow up and find your inner strength, you have to face these opponents on your own.  And so I must act contrary to my instinct here and not intercede.  This is your fight, and yours alone.  I must allay my fears and have faith in you.  I must constantly remind myself that no matter what happens, you will eventually rebound and heal from the worst of injuries, discover your own strength, and prevail against all odds.

Still, for me to hold myself back at this juncture of your life is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do.  And I think I have discovered why.

Just as your many backyard adventures have brought back so many wonderful memories, your impending encounters with the outside world have reminded me of another part of my youth, when I, too, had to strike out on my own and face these great unknown terrors.  Yes, you have helped me to uncover priceless buried treasures, but at the same time you have also managed to unearth many long-buried hurts and forgotten injuries from so long ago.  This white-knuckle urge to protect you from them is not caused by any lack of faith in you; it is a sign that I have not properly dealt with these distant fears myself.

Now that you have brought these memories back to me, you have made me understand that my own battles, fought so long ago, were never truly decided.  I have been living all these years with a fragile peace, an uneasy truce, a cold war within my own heart.  These distant phantoms had gradually overwhelmed me, leaving me in a state of confusion and anxiety.  These original defeats were too terrible to contemplate, and I had spent much of my life running away from them, allowing my fears to have an easy victory.  But now, when I see these same evils threatening to invade your life, I hear the clarion call of battle.  I am once again galvanized into action.  Perhaps I cannot protect you from everything, but there are some things I can protect you from, and those are these demons of buried fear that have taken up residence inside me for so long.  Before you entered my life, when I was all on my own, I was willing to take the easy way out and offer appeasement to these nightmares of sadness and pain.  But now I know, if I do not call them out here and now, and destroy them where they stand, they will try to make yet another generational leap.  I don’t care what happens to me, I am going keep them from touching you, or else die in the attempt.

And so now, at long last, comes the soul’s high noon.  With an admittedly somewhat rusted suit of armor, I again step out on this field of the heart’s battles.

I am not here to fight your fight.    I am not here to combat your demons.  I am here for myself, to settle an old score.  But I admit, I am partly inspired in this because, despite your ostensive independence, you are once more looking at me to see how I handle such things.  No amount of talk will suffice.  I must be as I want you to be, I must do as I want you to do, and I must act as I want you to act.  And from this great mantle of responsibility I derive more courage and determination than I have ever had purely for myself.

The battle begins.  I find that I am often bloodied in the process, and the fight, it seems, is never ending.  But this time it is different, for my love for you has given me the courage and purpose I lacked the first time around.  With such powerful inspiration, how can I be anything but victorious?  I now know I can now finally face the past as it really was.  With each confrontation I find myself regaining some lost piece of self.  This is all because of you.  I never would have attempted something so frightening just for myself.

And so I have come to view our relationship with immense gratitude.  I have been given a chance to do the impossible.  You have allowed me to travel back in time.  You have given me another chance to prove myself, to live my life over, and regain my spirit as it once was.

Once upon a time, so very long ago, in protecting myself from adversity, I had built a cocoon around my heart. At the time it was a necessary thing to do, but as the years passed it prevented me from seeing and feeling the best parts of life.  Now, like a sunny spring day, you have brought this cocooned being a message: the time has come to peck my way out into the light, however arduous and frightful that task might be.  At last, I can begin to live my life with the freedom and lightness of spirit that was always meant to be, for all living things.  With the warmth of your assurance, I cautiously spread my wet wings, and now, for the very first time, I can feel my own child spirit letting go, floating upwards, away, and off into the wild blue yonder.
Excerpt from “I Believe in You”

(c) 2012 Justin Locke

This book is currently only available through the Amazon Kindle Store. You do not need to own a kindle, they have free software so you can read kindle books on a PC or tablet. A paperback version is coming eventually.

Sample Chapters from “I Believe in You” :

Chapter One: I Believe in You

I Like You

You Are a Good Listener

You Are a Wonderful Child

Ode to a Dogface Soldier

 

So again, here is another of about five sample chapters of my new book, “I Believe in You.”  This is a major departure from what most folks are used to seeing from me. I can best describe it as a “giant hallmark card.” I wanted to put these samples out so if anyone was interested in buying it (at the moment it is only available on kindle) they would know what they were getting.

Norman Mailer once said, “Writing a book is like being a prizefighter . . . win or lose, you are going to take a beating.”  When I publish a book I never know how people will take it, as I try to always push envelope.  And this is, again, a major departure from my usual comedic style . . . But I think we can all use a little positive reinforcement and positive thinking now and then, so . . . here goes.

You Are a Good Listener

 With all the many wonders of modern medicine, there is one malady, more common than the common cold, that has yet to be cured.  We seem to be caught up in an epidemic of disconnection.  This disease has many symptoms, but its cause is the same: it comes from sheer loneliness, a sense of isolation, or worse, the belief that our presence on this earth does not matter to anyone else.

It is not always clear how to address this problem.  Many quick fixes come to mind.  We can try to ignore it.  We can try to take our minds off of it with excessive work or play.  We can turn up the stereo or eat ever greater amounts of chocolate.  But in the end, dealing with the hunger of our hearts by going on an emotional fast never works.  The only answer is to reach out and somehow acquire the simple acknowledgment, by another human being, of our existence.

This is, of course, easier said than done.  The unwritten rules of our modern society make it seem inappropriate, or even taboo, to openly ask for this basic spiritual sustenance.  We are taught to be silently stoic, for fear of appearing weak.  These teachings are very hard to overcome with mere logic, for when we compare our true selves with all of the apparent beauty and excitement of other people’s lives, it is easy to think ourselves unworthy of another person’s attention.  Even if we were not hobbled by a fear of rejection, in purely practical terms, the challenge is rather daunting.  In this twenty-four/seven, 7200 rpm hamster-wheel world we live in, it seems unlikely that we will ever find someone who, with all the many pressures they must face in their own life, would be willing to put their own issues aside for a moment, and focus their energies on our problems instead of their own.

And yet, against all odds, I have found such a person in you.

You have taken the time to lift the many burdens from my heavily weighted spirit.  All the world’s sadness and isolation seem to vanish in a moment when I am in your presence.  And what is most amazing is that you seem to be able to accomplish this great feat with great ease, by doing almost nothing at all.

Nothing, that is, except listening.

It takes a while to fully appreciate just how skilled you are at the subtle art of listening.  Your calm, almost motionless presence has enormous power.  A strange tingling euphoria comes over me when I find myself under your intense gaze.  I feel as though I am sitting for some great portrait painter who can see through my flimsy facade of outward appearance.  You are aware of my true self.

There is a feeling of great comfort that comes from knowing my many woes are being borne by another much more capable than myself.  Your experience and your wisdom are brought to bear, and more often than not you seem to be able to cut to the heart of the matter with little difficulty.

Like so many others, I immediately put complete trust in you without any hesitation.  It is easy to sense your open-minded approach to life.  You have learned to accept your own frailties and shortcomings, and you accept them in others as well.  I know that when I tell you of some difficult decision, you will not make a quick judgement.  Instead, you will try to see my side of it.  I know, when I present my case, I will get a fair hearing.  Your own life has taught you to be forgiving, of both yourself and of others.  You do not expect others to think like you, any more than you expect yourself to think like anyone else.  As a result, there is a grand unspoken permission to talk with you about things that, with others, are tacitly forbidden.

And so we begin.  Sometimes, you solve the problem without saying a single word, for you let me speak and speak without interruption.  As the tangled web of emotions plays itself out, your presence provides that little bit of needed objectivity, and I can see the problem and the solution for myself.

But there are times when I am not able to extricate myself, and that is where your wisdom and patience shine forth in all their glory.

There is more to it than simply listening to the words.  You know that people do not always directly express what is on their minds, and so you must decode these encrypted messages.  Despite all the distractions and red herrings that are put in your path, you are always able to cut to the heart of the matter.  There is something almost magical afoot, for even when people do not know what is troubling them, even when they are unable to articulate their thoughts and feelings, you seem to have some sixth sense that allows you to understand them anyway.

I suppose much of what you do could be explained away as the application of simple reasoning.  But what about those instances where that cannot explain it?  Is it possible that you possess truly psychic powers, allowing you to tell so much about someone, so much more than what they are saying?  This is the great mystery of your vision.  Part of it can be explained by your God-given talent and intelligence.  But more than that, I think it is because you have also had the courage to go spelunking into the mysterious domain of your own heart, further than most of us are willing to go, and this allows you to guide the rest of us so well when called upon to do so.

I do think, sometimes, that your heart hears too well.  Your remarkable powers of perception allow you to both see and feel the pain of others, and while I admire your ability in this realm, I also feel sad for you.  It must be a great burden to be so aware of the many sorrows of the world and not be able to put them out of your consciousness and ignore them as so many others are able to do.  But you seem to have accepted this burden well.  Through great personal discipline, you have learned to accept your own limitations, and that allows me to tell you about my troubles without worrying that you might think I am asking too much, or implying that it is your job to solve my problems for me.  You know that, at times, we all just need a little bit of solace and support to get ourselves through the day, and you provide that whenever I need it.  It’s nothing more than a little bit of listening.  But this little bit of listening, which often seems like nothing at all, is, at times, everything.
Excerpt from “I Believe in You”

(c) 2012 Justin Locke

This book is currently only available through the Amazon Kindle Store. You do not need to own a kindle, they have free software so you can read kindle books on a PC or tablet. A paperback version is coming eventually.

Sample Chapters from “I Believe in You” :

Chapter One: I Believe in You

I Like You

You Are a Good Listener

You Are a Wonderful Child

Ode to a Dogface Soldier

 

Here is another of about five sample chapters of my new book, “I Believe in You.” This book is a major departure from what most folks are used to seeing from me. I can best describe it as a “giant hallmark card.” I wanted to put these samples out so if anyone was interested in buying it (at the moment it is only available on kindle) so they would know what they were getting.

Norman Mailer once said, “Writing a book is like being a prizefighter . . . win or lose, you are going to take a beating.”  I have no idea how this will strike you . . .  This is, again, a major departure from my usual comedic style . . . But I think we can all use a little positive reinforcement and positive thinking now and then, so . . . here goes.

This one is what you might say to your “Best Friend.”

I Like You

I have no particular reason for liking you.  There has never been any planning, there has never been any objective logic in the process.  Anyone who ever became my friend for a reason never lasted very long.  I don’t know why I like you.  I just do.  I always have.  And I always will.

It’s not that there aren’t obvious benefits to liking you.  At the top of the list, of course, is that you are fun to be with.  You make me laugh.  You get my jokes.  You don’t criticize me unless I specifically ask you to, and even then, you don’t.  You approve of me as I am.  You don’t ask me to change.  What you don’t like, you politely ignore.  And when I do change, you aren’t threatened by it.  You just accept it.

But if I had to explain it, well, I guess for starters, one thing I like about you is the fact that there are so many unspoken understandings between us.  This is partly because we are so very much alike, but there is more to it than that.  There is an inexplicable kind of extra sensory connection here.  In a world tangled up with too many words, our communication is not garbled by excessive explanations.  All we have to do sometimes is just look at each other, and we know.  At times visual contact is unnecessary; very often, even though we may be miles apart, we still manage to remain in touch.  I can’t prove it scientifically, and yet there is more to it than mere coincidence.  Sometimes we call each other at the exact same moment.  You send me little hints and messages, sometimes it’s an odd combination of letters on a license plate, or I will see a street name in a different city that is the same as yours, but such events are more than coincidence, I really do believe that they are affirmations, a little cosmic signal to tell me that you are thinking of me.  And this always makes me smile.

With so much in common, we also happen to share many of the same flaws and shortcomings, and so forgiveness and acceptance are easy to come by.  It is always so helpful to consult with someone with the same point of view, someone who understands and gives confirmation of my reactions to new and perplexing experiences.

You are a good influence on me, for you keep me honest.  You know me so well I can’t get very much past you.  You won’t let me get away with anything.  You are willing to feel sorry for me, but only to a point.  You won’t let me wallow in self pity.  You tease me mercilessly whenever I try to gain sympathy I don’t deserve.  And in so doing, you express your faith in me.  You always remind me of my ability to face the day’s troubles.

There are many times when a more severe crisis hits, and reason is overshadowed by the emotion of the moment.  When this happens, we both know we can look to the other and find that bit of objectivity, which is often a saving grace from a near disaster.  Whenever I encounter emotional difficulties, whenever I truly need someone to hold my hand for a moment, you are the one I call.  You are my own personal support group.  Most of the time, just knowing you are there for me makes it unnecessary to call you; that thought of your being there is, by itself, extraordinarily calming.  But when I do call you to report an apparent disaster, you always remind me that the sun will most likely come up tomorrow and the earth will probably continue to spin on its axis, at least for the next few days, despite my doubts at the moment.  And soon all is again right in the universe.

Even though we are both on emergency call for each other 24 hours a day, seven days a week, we rarely take advantage of that service.  In all these years, there have only been one or two instances when we have presented each other with a genuine crisis.  These events were hardly a burden; in fact, it was a lot of fun to play superhero and come to the rescue.  There are few people that will allow us to openly express our vulnerability like that, even so seldom as once each decade, but in our little private world we accept our mutual human frailty.

Part of the magic at work here is the respect we have for each other’s boundaries.  We offer each other that terribly rare commodity called trust.  That respect frees us both from having to watch the border too carefully.  We know we can both count on the other to be honest, honorable, and forthright, even when it is most difficult to do so.

There are many people in my social network.  There are neighbors, fellow club members, old classmates, business associates, lovers, and family.  These relationships all have an endless litany of rituals attached to them, and they constantly restate and reaffirm themselves.  But you don’t fall into any of these categories.  This gossamer connection between us is based on something very different.  For all the complex relationships we establish in our day to day lives, a friend like you is there simply because we like each other, and because we are compatible people.  Friendships like ours happen all on their own, quite spontaneously.  There is no guilt, there are no formalities, we can come and go as we please.  The basis for our relationship is simply the enjoyment and support we give to each other.  And because of that, unlike so many other social situations, there is complete freedom from worry or concern, for there are no official requirements weighing upon either of us.  We have no legal standing, there is no contract binding us together.   There is no expected quid pro quo other than enjoying our mutual acceptance.  Forgiveness is easy to come by.  This magic mix of both freedom and belonging is unlike any other.

We rarely, if ever, discuss this odd sort of mutual chemistry between us.  To do so would seem silly to both of us.  And yet, I am not sure how I could get through the day without you.

While I can describe all these many elements of our camaraderie, I cannot even begin to explain the how or the why of it.  Is there really any way to explain what draws two people together as lifetime pals?  Is there any point in trying to find logic or reason in this?  Is it just because of common interests?  Is it solely because of similar background?  I suppose those things are all part of it, but if that is all there is to it, why do you stand out so brightly from so many others who have identical resumes?   No, I believe it to be something more magical and mysterious than that.  Just what it is, I do not know.  I only know the energy– the feeling– exists, and that’s why I like you, just as you are.

Your presence in my life is a treasure, but I hesitate to use such a word, for it risks equating this priceless energy with something material, and such comparisons inevitably falter and fail.  There is no way of counting, or storing, or exchanging with someone else the wealth we share between the two of us.  For this reason our friendship becomes ever more precious because, unlike pearls which can be cultivated, or gold that can be discovered, there is no knowing what we have, what it is made of, or how we found it.  It just seems to have found us.  This kind of wealth can never be locked up in a box, it needs no guards or security, and it can it never be stolen.  It can only be lost if we ever make the mistake of not understanding just how lucky we are to have been given such a marvelous gift.

Excerpt from “I Believe in You”

(c) 2012  Justin Locke

This book is currently only available through the Amazon Kindle Store. You do not need to own a kindle, they have free software so you can read kindle books on a PC or tablet. A paperback version is coming eventually.

Sample Chapters from “I Believe in You” :

Chapter One: I Believe in You

I Like You

You Are a Good Listener

You Are a Wonderful Child

Ode to a Dogface Soldier

 

Hello all my loyal blog readers, okay, so, at long last I have published “I Believe in You,” on Amazon Kindle to start.  Below, chapter one.  This is a good thing to read if you are having one of “those” days . . . or years . . .

I Believe in You

 You have dared to dream.

You have envisioned a bright future for yourself and those you love.  What is even more remarkable, you have demonstrated the willingness, and the courage, to try to make this wonderful dream come true.  You deserve much admiration for setting out upon such a noble enterprise.

But dreams do not always come true right away.  And until they do, you have to live in the present, which is often a dark limbo of uneasy anticipation.  The price of aiming so high includes having to cope with this stress-laden existence, where you must suffer the withering looks and condescending criticisms that come from those who do not share your faith or your vision.  You have often found yourself all alone, coping with this relentless anxiety of delay and disappointment.  You have been confronted with enormous hurdles and setbacks, with an unknown number still to come.  Added to all of this, there is a more insidious problem: the never-ending petty demands of day-to-day life are constantly draining away your time and your energy, stopping you a teaspoon at a time but doing so as effectively as a concrete wall.

To your credit, these many obstacles have not deterred you from your quest, but as you have traveled down this long road, you have come to appreciate just how far away your goal really is.  The long deferment of these earnestly hoped-for rewards, along with the seemingly endless psychic bruises of this battle, have taken their toll on you.  You are only human.  When no one is looking, you have occasionally been forced to wonder if your dream is worth the cost.  You have been forced to consider, from time to time, if your dream is even possible.  Despite your tenacity and despite your best efforts, bitter prospects of defeat have often loomed large, and it rends my heart to see you reckoning with these Goliaths of potential failure after coming so far.  But no matter how distant your dream may seem, I have never lost faith in you, for I know, as surely as I know the sun will rise tomorrow, that you will succeed.

I do not say this because of any physical evidence.  I say it solely because I have seen the power of spirit that lives and breathes in you.  It is that power, and that alone, which convinces me, and makes me so certain, that you will ultimately prevail.  Even though this journey has been much more difficult than you ever thought it would be, you have always remained true to yourself.  You have never abandoned your goals.  In spite of interminable defeats, you have always kept on trying.  History shows that you have always recovered from such events, rising ever stronger like a phoenix from the ashes.  We both know that, no matter what obstacles the morrow may bring, you will once more dig deep within yourself and somehow find the heretofore unknown strength and courage to face them.  There is no doubting the resiliency of spirit that you possess.  You are far too optimistic to believe in impossibility for very long.  You have never lost faith, even when faith was the only thing you had left.

I know that in trying to make more of your life than what was assigned to you at birth, you are inviting far more than your fair share of frustration and heartache.  Any worthy endeavor carries with it the likelihood of momentary failures, and sometimes these failures are very painful.

But with every failure, you move yourself forward.  With every failure, you gain precious knowledge.  With every failure, you become a little more free of the destructive power of infinite vague imaginings and incorrect theories.  With every failure, you discover what you can leave behind, you become ever lighter, and you come one step closer to escaping the earthly bonds that hold so many of us down.  And so, when you fail, it is never a loss or a failure at all, because in every case you have learned something.  You have occasionally learned bitter lessons about your own limitations.  But you have also, through these bold experiments and sojourns into unknown territories, discovered the existence of many hidden capabilities.  I have seen how this process has changed you.  You have slowly but surely forged the steel of your courage in the flames of hard experience, you have tempered it with patience, and you have sharpened it with your wisdom.  There is no stopping you now.  Your success, while neither easy nor immediate, is inevitable.

Perhaps you should pause for a moment, and instead of looking at how far you have to go, consider just how far you have come.  While your ultimate goal may still be far away, you have had some remarkable successes, not all of them planned or expected.

One of your greatest achievements is the degree of inspiration you have provided to others.  You may not be aware of it, but many people, after witnessing your efforts, have taken renewed devotion to the fulfillment of their own most precious dreams.  With your deeds, not just your words, you have encouraged those around you to take the same terrible risks and persevere toward their own true heart’s desires, no matter how distant they may be, and despite their own many stumblings and defeats.  You have demonstrated to everyone, again and again, that disappointment is not infinite, nor is it invincible– it can be overcome with sheer power of mind and will.  You have reminded us all that, with only a mustard seed’s worth of faith, one can move mountains.  Your actions have proven that any one of us can ultimately prevail in any worthy endeavor, if we simply have the courage to begin, and the will to persevere.

I know it has been difficult for you to walk this long, lonesome road that lies between a dream and a dream come true.  It is a long and hazardous journey, fraught with peril.  But in my heart I am certain that you will complete this great crusade.  I do not hesitate to place all of my faith in you, for it is safer there than in any bank, paying far greater dividends.

No matter what adversities, setbacks, or disappointments may befall you, always remember that I believe in the righteousness of your purpose.  I believe in the worthiness of your goal.  I believe in your ability to ultimately overcome whatever obstacles may appear in your path.  And I truly believe that someday this world will become a better place because of your efforts.

But what is most important, at those darkest of times when your faith is most severely tested, I hope you will always remember that I believe in you.

Excerpt from I Believe in You

(c) 2012 Justin Locke

This book is currently only available through the Amazon Kindle Store. You do not need to own a kindle, they have free software so you can read kindle books on a PC or tablet. A paperback version is coming eventually.

Sample Chapters from “I Believe in You”:

Chapter One: I Believe in You

http://justinlocke.com/blog/2012/05/07/i-believe-in-you-chapter-one/

I Like You

You Are a Good Listener

You Are a Wonderful Child

An Ode to a Dogface Soldier

Well it’s about to happen.  I am publishing a book on Kindle.

A very long story somewhat short:  Prior to publishing “Real Men Don’t Rehearse,” I had attempted to publish three other books.  The first two, well, those were learning experiences.  My third book was a poetic collection of essays on the many facets of our most important personal relationships.  I titled it after the first chapter, about expressing faith in someone who showing great courage in the face of adversity:  ”I Believe in You.”

I went through a six year struggle of trying to find a literary agent for this book, to no avail.  When I wrote “Real Men Don’t Rehearse,” those six years of failure experience were key to my having the resolve to just go ahead and print that book myself.  The rest, as they say, is history.

But this previous book has been sitting, like a lost middle child, on my hard drive, waiting for someone to love it.  So now that the limiting closed-off publishing world of 2002 no longer exists, I decided to publish this book on Kindle.  I once had 6 years of failure, and I was able to achieve success in about 12 hours.  How times have changed.

When I have more time, I may go thru the more complex motions of turning this into a hardcopy book, but for now, you’ll need a ebook reader to enjoy it.  It should be available on Kindle on Monday May 7th.  Sample chapters will be posted over the next few days and weeks.  best,  justin

(I usually blog about more philosophical issues, but today I am immersed in the nasty nitty gritty of publishing, specifically, I am putting “Principles of Applied Stupidity” up on Kindle, as an experiment. so to save others time, I thought I would quickly share what tech points I learned.)

The word of the day is FORMATTING.

I write in wordperfect (don’t ask) and then I convert to MSWord.  Uploading a doc file to kindle gets a very bad result, with all sorts of punctuation showing up wrong.  I got a lot of bizarre advice on blogs, turns out it was all useless.  This is what I did:

I saved the MSWord file as the “filtered html.”  Then went to the kindle upload page and filled in the title  (don’t do anything else, go right to the text file upload, because you are going to spend a few hours on the text file upload til it looks right. no point in filling out the rest til this works)..

Once you upload the file it lets you preview it in a window just below, and this is where you learn what you need to do.  ugh.

In my case I had to replace every “beginning of quote” quotation mark.  MSWord saw them as “A,” so i matched upper case in “find” and just went thru and replaced all 145 of them, skipping each capital A.  ugh.

There are other issues of em dashes and copyright symbols and apostrophes all needing to be searched and replaced.  Again, it was arduous because when you try to copy the quotation mark and insert it in the search for field, it becomes the letter A or B,  or whatever.  so you have to search by hitting HR over and over again, then hitting “R” to replace when it’s a quotation mark and not an actual letter A.

I went thru about 9 or ten different passes finding formatting issues in the conversion, but eventually i think i got them all.

good luck – jl