The writing of my latest book, “Getting in Touch with Your Inner Rich Kid,” has been a major turning point in my life. There was all sorts of unfinished business regarding my “poor kid” upbringing that this book has fixed.
When people who have read the book talk to me about it, it is very interesting to hear their responses, because they will immediately start talking about specific chapters that resonated with them. There’s the “trust chapter,” there’s the “resentment chapter,” there’s the “negotiation chapter,” and then, a big surprise, the “permission chapter.”
(You can read the trust and negotiation chapters here on this blog, see links at right.)
I have to say, it was excellent personal therapy to think about my “poor kid school” social conditioning regarding permission. In that environment, permission was virtually nonexistent. We were relentlessly trained that we did not have permission to do anything. The lack of permission just became a habit of mind, and from that point, a worldview. If we wanted permission, we had to seek it from some outside source, and even then, it was a less than 3% chance that we would get it. After awhile, you just stop asking for it.
This awareness, that I can in fact be a source of permission within myself, has solved all sorts of previously unlabeled problems. Very often, when I’m thinking about how to express a disruptive idea in a live presentation, I’ll find myself hesitating to say certain things. I used to think that this was because I was not sure of the clarity of my logic, but now I know, it’s an issue of permission. We live in a society that is filled with all kinds of taboos. That sense of taboo/non-permission has to be countered with a very pure sense of “I have permission to do this.” It is a truly marvelous thing to have regained that.
All part of embracing my inner rich kid.
