Again, if you are just joining us, here is another of about five sample chapters of my new book, “I Believe in You.” This is a major departure from what most folks are used to seeing from me. I can best describe it as a “giant hallmark card.” I wanted to put these samples out so if anyone was interested in buying it (at the moment it is only available on kindle) they would know what they were getting.
This book is a major departure from my usual comedic style . . . It’s just things we might say to special people in our lives. But I think we can all use a little positive reinforcement and positive thinking now and then, so . . . here goes:
You Are a Wonderful Child
When you first appeared in my life, I was utterly taken by your charm of innocence and honesty. You displayed a magical magnetism that immediately drew me to you. I was overwhelmed by your total vulnerability– so much so that I found myself imbued with a deep sense of purpose, and, without thinking, immediately assumed a role as your mentor and protector. This awesome challenge and responsibility opened up a vast, previously untapped reservoir of strength within me. My most primal instincts for self protection and preservation were transferred to you, multiplied by a thousand or more. That was the first instance where you made me aware of astonishing new possibilities and powers within myself. But there was so much more to be discovered.
You have reminded me of the simple yet overwhelming power of truth. In a world filled with tactful fibs and careful omissions of fact, everything you do and say carries with it the tremendous weight of total sincerity. When I see you finding some enjoyment in one of my favorite books or activities, or when you have adopted one of my mannerisms– perhaps something as simple as a figure of speech– you give a degree of recognition and validation to my life that no other honor, medal, or award can match. No Nobel Prize winner has ever felt more honored or esteemed than I at those golden moments when you deem my thoughts and values worthy of emulation, for I know you mean it with all your heart.
It is a great privilege to just sit and watch you sometimes. You deal with life in an extraordinary Zen state of timeless open-mindedness; delays and failures are nothing more than the cost of doing business of growing up, you pay them no heed, you just write them off and move on with the things you enjoy. Clocks have no authority in your thinking. Your schedule endlessly adjusts to your heart’s priorities.
Your powers of perception never cease to amaze me. Never does a day go by that you don’t make me agape with wonder, at some new marvel that was always right under my nose, yet managed to escape my notice for decades. You continually demonstrate to me that there are new and different ways of seeing everything, and there is always the possibility of something extraordinary in things that I had long ago catalogued as commonplace and dull. You constantly re-instruct me in the importance of little things that I had long since forgotten. You have reminded me of the magic of a door knob, the industrial might of an anthill, the enormous complexity of a leaf, and the engineering marvel of a spider web.
Once upon a time, I was just like you, but somehow I lost my way. For reasons now forgotten, I was oh so eager to “grow up,” and I took great pride in learning to hide my feelings; I thought I was clever by putting my own personality aside and, in its place, mimicking the hand-me-down behavior of those around me. But when I see how free you are, how original, how creative, how in tune with yourself and every feeling at every moment, I can only step back with admiration and amazement, and I cannot help but feel a twinge of terrible sadness when I realize what a treasure of my own pure self was lost and forgotten so long ago.
But hunting for lost treasures, no matter how deeply buried, is one of your finest skills; you do it every day. With no map to guide you, you have taken me, again and again, to the exact place where “x” marks the spot. But on this particular treasure hunt, something far more precious than Blackbeard’s pieces of eight has been unearthed: you have brought back innumerable golden memories and feelings of a childhood that I once thought was lost forever. There are so many therapists telling me how to find my child self, but compared to you, they are mere amateurs. What better guide in such a search than the bright eyes, and hands-on understanding, of a full-time child? Every day you teach me far more about life, and about myself, than I will ever teach you.
Nothing lasts forever, of course, and our magic partnership is no exception. We both know that the time is fast upon us when you must strike out into the world on your own. You are certainly getting bigger every day, and perhaps you do not need me so much as a protector. But while you are larger and stronger, I also know that the obstacles and adversities you will soon have to face are larger as well, and I can’t help wanting to step in and protect you from them. However, as much as I want to do this, I must not. In order for you to truly grow up and find your inner strength, you have to face these opponents on your own. And so I must act contrary to my instinct here and not intercede. This is your fight, and yours alone. I must allay my fears and have faith in you. I must constantly remind myself that no matter what happens, you will eventually rebound and heal from the worst of injuries, discover your own strength, and prevail against all odds.
Still, for me to hold myself back at this juncture of your life is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. And I think I have discovered why.
Just as your many backyard adventures have brought back so many wonderful memories, your impending encounters with the outside world have reminded me of another part of my youth, when I, too, had to strike out on my own and face these great unknown terrors. Yes, you have helped me to uncover priceless buried treasures, but at the same time you have also managed to unearth many long-buried hurts and forgotten injuries from so long ago. This white-knuckle urge to protect you from them is not caused by any lack of faith in you; it is a sign that I have not properly dealt with these distant fears myself.
Now that you have brought these memories back to me, you have made me understand that my own battles, fought so long ago, were never truly decided. I have been living all these years with a fragile peace, an uneasy truce, a cold war within my own heart. These distant phantoms had gradually overwhelmed me, leaving me in a state of confusion and anxiety. These original defeats were too terrible to contemplate, and I had spent much of my life running away from them, allowing my fears to have an easy victory. But now, when I see these same evils threatening to invade your life, I hear the clarion call of battle. I am once again galvanized into action. Perhaps I cannot protect you from everything, but there are some things I can protect you from, and those are these demons of buried fear that have taken up residence inside me for so long. Before you entered my life, when I was all on my own, I was willing to take the easy way out and offer appeasement to these nightmares of sadness and pain. But now I know, if I do not call them out here and now, and destroy them where they stand, they will try to make yet another generational leap. I don’t care what happens to me, I am going keep them from touching you, or else die in the attempt.
And so now, at long last, comes the soul’s high noon. With an admittedly somewhat rusted suit of armor, I again step out on this field of the heart’s battles.
I am not here to fight your fight. I am not here to combat your demons. I am here for myself, to settle an old score. But I admit, I am partly inspired in this because, despite your ostensive independence, you are once more looking at me to see how I handle such things. No amount of talk will suffice. I must be as I want you to be, I must do as I want you to do, and I must act as I want you to act. And from this great mantle of responsibility I derive more courage and determination than I have ever had purely for myself.
The battle begins. I find that I am often bloodied in the process, and the fight, it seems, is never ending. But this time it is different, for my love for you has given me the courage and purpose I lacked the first time around. With such powerful inspiration, how can I be anything but victorious? I now know I can now finally face the past as it really was. With each confrontation I find myself regaining some lost piece of self. This is all because of you. I never would have attempted something so frightening just for myself.
And so I have come to view our relationship with immense gratitude. I have been given a chance to do the impossible. You have allowed me to travel back in time. You have given me another chance to prove myself, to live my life over, and regain my spirit as it once was.
Once upon a time, so very long ago, in protecting myself from adversity, I had built a cocoon around my heart. At the time it was a necessary thing to do, but as the years passed it prevented me from seeing and feeling the best parts of life. Now, like a sunny spring day, you have brought this cocooned being a message: the time has come to peck my way out into the light, however arduous and frightful that task might be. At last, I can begin to live my life with the freedom and lightness of spirit that was always meant to be, for all living things. With the warmth of your assurance, I cautiously spread my wet wings, and now, for the very first time, I can feel my own child spirit letting go, floating upwards, away, and off into the wild blue yonder.
Excerpt from “I Believe in You”
(c) 2012 Justin Locke
This book is currently only available through the Amazon Kindle Store. You do not need to own a kindle, they have free software so you can read kindle books on a PC or tablet. A paperback version is coming eventually.
Sample Chapters from “I Believe in You” :
Chapter One: I Believe in You
