Every once in a while I indulge myself in a fond fantasy of being a college professor. In this fantasy, I teach a class with a simple twist: only one person in the class will get an A, and everyone else will get an F. Furthermore, it’s not really clear what it will take to get the A. It might be the person who works the hardest, then again, it might be the person who brown-noses the most, or it might be the prettiest girl in the class. I may tell everyone my parameters, then again, I may not. Or I may announce one set and apply another. Gotcha.
Sounds somewhat sadistic I know, but there’s good intention behind it. This would be a far better preparation for coping with how things work in real life.
Every once in a while I run across someone who has been “an institutional man” (or woman) their entire lives, who is thinking about doing something independently for the first time. Sad to say, on a psychological and people skill level, they are usually grossly unprepared. A big problem with going through the many typical standard processes of an institution of learning is that so many things just happen so automatically, and so many successes just occur one after another simply by following a clear set of rules. This induces passivity, raises expectations for quick success far too high, and just generally makes it very difficult for people immersed in easy processes to ever break out of it and function independently.
I was reading a professional speakers chat discussion on linkedin the other day, and it was fascinating to hear questions from people who were interested in becoming a professional speaker. You could just tell from the structure of their sentences that they were expecting to find some textbook, rule book, system, or procedure that they should follow in a nice orderly manner in order to become a speaker. It was all about what rule they should follow, not what their potential customers might want. I want to help these people if I can, but it’s difficult, given the lack of mutually understood vocabulary.
There is a huge cultural gap between worlds where one has lots of structure, and a world where there is no such structure. To them, I’m sure I sound like an illiterate misanthrope.
Of course, there is structure to be found, but that structure is found in human nature itself, not in any particular set of institutional rules and procedures. (Just FYI, one the best ways to learn about these fundamental structures of human behavior is to read the works of Machiavelli.)
I don’t mind people offering help but all too often it develops a sense that everything is easy, and one is a sucker for doing things “the hard way.” It’s already hard enough doing things the hard way without feeling like you’re an idiot for doing so. But I guess overcoming that aggravation is part of the test.
At some point, you have to put down the textbooks, stop taking the classes, stop joining the associations, and figure out what it is that you uniquely have the offer that no one else has ever even seen before. And then you go out, and you just flail at it as best you can. You go at it like killing snakes, you have your faith in yourself tested by years and years of failure, until you eventually figure out how to make it go, and then hope for the break you need which could come today or in 20 years. For what it’s worth, that’s “the system.”
© Justin Locke
Justin Locke is an entertaining speaker. Call him at 781-330-8143 to discuss having him appear at your next event.
