I am not much of one for public-service announcements, but I would like to give this little bit of advice, directed especially to younger people:
Don’t use profanity on facebook or twitter.
Bear in mind, I say this not because I am particularly squeamish. I grew up on a farm, and I have dealt up close, personally, and in great depth with kitty litter, doggie doo, horse dung, and cow and pig manure. And yes, on those rare occasions when I have accidentally struck my thumb with a hammer, I have been known to repeatedly yell out the acronym based on “for unlawful carnal knowledge.”
But here’s the thing: if you use profanity in publicly viewable social media posts, you are announcing the following to the whole world:
“I am immature; I am narcissistic; I am inconsiderate; I lack elegance, eloquence, and social grace; and I have generally poor judgment.”
Even if you don’t have these attributes, it’s easy for strangers to assume that you do.
Why does this matter? Well, one quick example: I just came across a couple of tweets on twitter from some kid who is struggling trying to find work in the music industry. I’m hardly a bigwig, but I certainly know people, and occasionally I am asked to do hiring. So I scrolled down this kid’s tweets to see if I could help him out, and therein I found several posts in which four-letter words were used. I was put off by it. Suddenly I had no further interest in him or his problems. I moved on to something else.
When anyone posts four-letter words on facebook, I defriend them immediately. I just don’t want to see that stuff.
Again, while I am not particularly squeamish, I have to be careful not to ever get into the habit of using foul language. You see, I am a speaker, and using it in my day to day language would make it ever more likely that in some future extemporaneous frenzy, I might say a VERY bad word to the entire East Eaglejaw Ladies’ Auxiliary. For that reason, I eschew the use of vulgarity, and I have to require the same of people in my immediate social and professional circles.
I realize that some might say, “well, freedom of speech, I can say what I want.” Of course you can. You can also pick your nose in public. It’s important to start to see the world, not as versions of your parents bossing you around, but instead as sensitive fragile people . . . people who are easily frightened by those who display a lack of social grace. If you lack it in one area, people will assume you lack it in other areas. Yes, you have freedom of speech. You also have freedom to be brusque, inconsiderate, and hard on the souls of others. With freedom comes responsibility, and you have to accept the consequences of your actions.
I can understand the appeal of curse words. They feel like added power. But for the record, the purpose of profanity is generally to create cheap emphasis, via invoking some presumed fear and shame on the part of the listener re: either their sexuality or their waste product elimination. A more literate/sophisticated/mature reader will see right past that and see that it is you who has these unresolved fear/shame issues. Such expressions of fear are unappealing, and so most people will choose to quietly avoid you due to your overall lack of manners and upbringing. This may seem like nothing, but that’s because it’s hard to count up the party invites and job offers that were never sent to you.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but what you say on social media goes all over the world instantly, and stays there. I have often been in a situation where I had to pick one candidate out of two or three, and no matter how innocently/jokingly meant it was, when I see the use of profanity, the thumb goes down on that choice instantly. When I hire somebody, I’m somewhat responsible for their overall demeanor and performance, and if they don’t have the good sense to not use profanity in a public forum, I can’t risk hiring them.
When I was a kid, we used to be threatened by our teachers about having our grades being in our “permanent record.” We didn’t know how good we had it. I’m so glad all the poor choices of words (and tasteless jokes) that I made when growing up aren’t sitting on a hard drive at Google someplace. I learned this stuff the hard way, and I hope some will learn from my sad experience.
So, just a word to the wise, kids. Be careful what you say on facebook, it’s going on your “permanent record.” When a potential employer for your dream job googles you and sees the use of foul language, they won’t know it was only meant in fun for your buddy Ralph. Once they see it, there is a very strong possibility that they may take your well-typed resume and say, “oh, well, **** this ****.”
I have focused here on how it affects the actions other people, but there is also the way in which profanity affects your own internal communication with your own spirit. Do it for yourself if not for me.
© Justin Locke
Justin Locke is an entertaining speaker. Call him about speaking at your next event.
