The other day I was listening to some potential clients discuss their management problems on twitter. One of the problems they discussed was a classic: how do you deal with a boss who is not open to new ideas?
This is such a pervasive problem that I would hesitate to claim that I have a panacea. However, I do think I have at least one possible solution.
To began, let me tell you this story:
One day a man was walking down a country road, and he saw a group of farmers trying to get a donkey to go into a barn. They were all gathered behind this donkey, pushing him as hard as they could, but it was no use. The donkey was stronger than all of them, and the donkey refused to go into the barn.
The man walked up to this group of farmers, and said, “give me $50, and I’ll get that donkey to go into the barn.”
The farmers all laughed, and said, “ OK, you’re so smart, let’s see you do it. We got 50 bucks.”
So the man walked up to the donkey, and instead of trying to push the donkey into the barn, he grabbed the donkey’s tail and, instead of pushing, he pulled. The donkey immediately ran in the opposite direction… right into the barn.
Now before we proceed, a couple of things: 1) by telling the story, I’m not implying that anyone’s boss is a jackass, and 2) if you have not read my Principles of Applied Stupidity, this will be a lot of new information for you.
Now again, it would be overly brash to say I have a single solution to such a universal problem, but I did have to face this problem once myself and I actually solved it. (Note, this solution was described in Principles of Applied Stupidity, but I will reiterate it here.)
Once upon a time, I was working for a boss who was, in the common parlance, an idiot. Bear in mind, he was not an actual idiot. He was actually a really smart guy. When we say “idiot,” what we really mean is someone who is doing things that we don’t understand, or someone who refuses to listen, or just does things that we disapprove of. And this guy was doing a lot of things that I thought were just wrong. And I could not get him to listen to me. He was convinced that he was smarter than I was, so bringing about “change” was a bit of a problem.
Now at first, I tried the oh so standard “group of farmers” approach. I was as tactful as I could be, but when I tried to push him in any direction, he just automatically offered resistance. I possessed knowledge and experience that he lacked, and I was trying desperately to show him the right way of doing things. But absolutely nothing worked.
I confess, for a while I was getting quite vexed and frustrated at this situation. This is a common problem that we all encounter. We all make the mistake of assuming that other human beings will respond to logical arguments.
Anyway, one day I remembered the donkey story, and, being desperate, I decided to reverse the flow of energy, just to see what would happen. I had nothing to lose. In this case, instead of thinking this guy was an idiot, I just automatically presumed that he was a genius (again, this is a very useful technique that I describe in Principles of Applied Stupidity).
Now here is what happened:
1) first of all, instead of feeling helpless, and constantly being in conflict, I was finally in control the situation.
2) because I was now telling this guy what a great genius he was all day everyday, his default resistance to my input gradually melted away.
3) it turned out this guy actually was a genius . . . IN SOME WAYS . . . and that’s why he was the boss, by the way. So magically, my perceptions opened up in unexpected ways, and I ended up learning some really good stuff.
4) from his point of view, and remember, for years he had been taking various workshops in leadership, and so he had been viewing my advice as mere fearful employee resistance to be overcome, not as a logical argument that he should listen to. My saying he was a genius solved his major “management problem.”
Now, if you have read my Principles of Applied Stupidity, you know that people love to solve problems, and once they solve one problem, they immediately start looking for another problem to solve (for reference, see the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation). Once my “resistance” had been “overcome by his brilliant leadership skills,” this guy needed a new problem, and he proceeded to do the very things that I had been telling him would not work. But this time, instead of my trying to ward off disaster by resisting things or warning him, I sat there and cheered him on and encouraged him.
To be honest, for a long time I thought the whole thing was just a hopeless enterprise, as I watched one inevitable failure after another occur. But amazingly, once enough failures occurred, he came around to my way of thinking. He figured it out. But he had to figure it all out the hard way, on his own. And since I had been in the “you are a genius” camp and not the potential “I told you so” camp, it was that much easier for this guy to see and admit to the error of his ways.
This is as much a parenting problem as it is a employee-to-boss problem. You can warn them, you can lecture them, but at some point they just have to go figure it out for themselves. And you’re not doing them any favor by overly protecting them. To them, you just look like someone with no guts.
So the “take away” for today, if you want one: It would be ever so nice if everyone in the world was calm and logical, but sadly, they aren’t. SO . . . if things are not working the way you want them to, take a look at how you are setting up the flow of energy, and reverse it. (By the way, no matter where you are in an organization, you have the power to do this… you just have to choose to stop doing things the same way over and over again.)
To put it another way, the moral of the story is, if you’re dealing with a jackass, and pushing and shoving doesn’t work, try pulling. You have nothing to lose.
© Justin Locke
