Well summer's coming and it's time to think about sprucing up your wardrobe, so I thought I would toss out this reminder of Bass Couture, the "cloth-bound" sequel to Real Men Don't Rehearse! Below you will find a hopefully amusing fashion show/ tour of just a few of the 35+ designs I came up with for professional musicians to wear to rehearsal. This is just a sampling . . . to see the entire collection and even better, to buy any of these t-shirts, sweatshirts, and/or gift items with these nifty little snarky sayings on them for your very own, please do visit the The Bass Couture Shop on Cafe Press!
Okay, here we go: Nothing leads to success quicker than lowered expectations! When you walk in wearing this first shirt, everyone will be thrilled with you no matter what you do:
Note, "Dark" shirts are available in many other colors.
Next: Got a picky conductor you'd like to harass? If so, this next is the perfect item for you:
Just fyi, this started out a place where you could get a Real Men Don't Rehearse t-shirt, then I did a few designs just for bass players, then it just got out of hand!
Next: Every new generation of professional musicians is faced with that age-old question, "can you ever do TOO much sucking up to the personnel manager??" The answer, of course, is "absolutely not!" To that end, here's a little number designed to give you a step up for that next round of hiring:
Can you really afford NOT to wear one of these? Wow, you must be really good!!
Ok, this next item: Are you bothered by a pesky concertmaster who is on a non-stop power trip? Well who ain't? Anyway, one way to deal with it is to show up for rehearsal in this sassy little number:
Some of the designs are instrument specific. For example, this next is for bass players only:
We have all known the misery of having a conductor who will actually ask the bass section for things like articulations and vibrato and all sorts of other things that I could never remember how to do. If you suffer from this problem, a simple gesture to the pithy text on this t-shirt or sweatshirt may be all you need to save the day:
Note, I can do customizations on request, like different color letters, and smaller versions of the designs . . . in fact I am re-doing some of the more popular ones right now to a little smaller size to give you that option.
Also instrument specific, this next item only makes sense if worn by a percussionist:
Next up: Are you scheduled to play Bartok's Music for Strings, Percussion, and Celeste next week? Or worse, are you playing one of those contemporary pieces where the part looks more like stereo instructions than sheet music? Then you can't afford to go to rehearsal without one of these:
Next: You've been through it a thousand times: a stand partner, or maybe even more annoying, a cello player in front of you, saying "Ewwwww! That B flat was OUT OF TUUUUNE!!!" Well, always remember, justiable homocide is a dodgy defense, and besides, it will be much less messy to just wear one of these two items:
Or even better:
Okay, we've all been there– that starnge bizarre portal into the fourth dimension where time becomes meaningless– I am referring, of course, to a Bruckner Symphony Rehearsal. To create an ilusion of time moving again, may we suggest the following divertissement
And the following two t-shirts, well, hopefully you can find lots of places to wear them:
And now you can also wear "Justin Locke Productions" T-shirts, including the logo of "Peter VS. the Wolf," the modern children's classic that has been performed all over the world:
And finally, the design that started it all, the cover of "Real Men Don't Rehearse":
Note, to buy the book, please visit JustinLocke.com!
Thanks for visiting! I am eager for feedback on the usability of the sites, and if there's anything that needs fixing! And again, there are a whole lot more designs to see at Bass Couture on Cafe Press! I would very much appreciate your forwarding this page's link ( www.justinlocke.com/bc.htm ) on to any musician friends you think might enjoy it! And thank you again for your business! Best, Justin Locke
All media on this site © Justin Locke
