A NEWLY DISCOVERED PRINCIPLE OF APPLIED STUPIDITY

Here at Justin Locke Productions we have a crack research team that is always on the lookout for new and innovative uses of Stupidity. Since stupidity is infinite, and since the crack researchers seem to work very slowly, we expect to have them on staff indefinitely.

Anyway, they recently discovered a NEW PRINCIPLE OF APPLIED STUPIDITY, and since this did not make it into the print version of the book it is included here for your amusement and enlightenment. Best, Justin Locke

Principles of Applied Stupidity:

Incompetence as a Management Tool

It is an old saying in business that many companies succeed, not because of their management, but in spite of it. People say this and laugh like it means nothing, but . . . wait a second.

There are many arguments to be made on either side of this issue. However, while it is deemed polite and proper to generally condemn incompetent management, such blanket condemnation does not appreciate the enormous power of stupidity, and the managerial advantages that can be achieved through incompetence and disorganization.

I once had the privilege of working with an incredibly incompetent manager. At least, we all thought he was incompetent. But he kept his job because somehow, at the 11^th hour, essential tasks were always completed by his team.

One of the ways we felt this manager was so incompetent was his always springing stuff on us at the last minute, with deadlines of major projects only 48 hours away. I was a consultant, not a staff employee, so one day, after observing this behavior on his part, and occasionally suffering through a panicked 48 hour work-athon to get something done all at the last moment, and having had a few too many, I asked him why he did this repeatedly.

He explained, "People only do what is urgent. If I tell my staff something needs to be done six months from now, they will not get focused on it until it’s almost too late, and then there is the attendant shame on their part for not having done it before the last minute. So if I wait, and tell them about it when they would have started on it anyway, they can blame me for all the stress instead of themselves, and that keeps them from getting into a personal shame spiral, and they can do their work more effectively. Also, by being able to achieve the goals ‘in spite of’ my apparent incompetence, they all think that they are that much smarter than their peers in general. It’s a great morale booster and confidence builder."

He went on to say: "Parkinson’s law states that all tasks will expand to fill the time allotted to them. If I give a staff six months to do a job, it will take them six months to do it. I would rather they did it in 48 hours. That gives me five months and 28 days for other tasks."

He also pointed out that, "When time becomes terribly pressing, people who are normally highly obedient to past procedures and protocols will momentarily feel free to abandon those standard procedures, and think and act much more creatively. If they were to instead have excessive amounts of time available, they would make the job fit the process, instead of remaking the process to fit the job, as they would not have the virtually unlimited time to do things the same old way they are used to doing them."

So, while most people condemn incompetent management as being "stupid," there is something to be said for the creative inspiration one derives from a state of total panic and confusion. At such times you often discover that you have capabilities that, in times of quiet calm and reflection, you never imagined you possessed. It’s hard on the body, but one can argue that purely from a short term immediate productivity standpoint, in certain situations, crazed stupid/incompetent management can actually work just as well as, or even better than, calm intelligent/competent management. This leads us to: